The God who Sees

Psalm 27:10 CSB
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord Cares for me.

It was a Monday.

I had just finished a track meet in seventh grade, and the school bus dropped us off at the pickup point. My coach stood nearby, making sure every athlete was safely picked up. One by one, parents arrived. Cars pulled in. Bookbags disappeared into backseats. Everyone went home. Except for me. I called my parents again and again. No answer. The sun slipped below the horizon. My teacher couldn’t take me home because it was against school policy. Instead, she called her boyfriend to tell him they were going to miss their usual Moe’s Monday because one of her runners was still waiting. So we sat together on the curb. Embarrassed. Cold. Waiting.

As the child of parents battling addiction, I was used to disappointment. We only had one car, my mother struggled to keep a job, and my father usually had the vehicle. But none of those facts made it hurt less. At thirteen years old, all I could think was: The only two people who are supposed to come for me … didn’t.

Years later, I realized that those beliefs did not stay on the curb that night. They followed me into every unanswered phone call, every delayed text, every relationship was filtered through the belief that people eventually leave. I began expecting people to leave because, for most of my life, they had.  But Scripture tells a different story.

“For the Lord your God is the one who will go with you; he will not leave you or abandon you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 (CSB)

Looking at the Bible, my lived experience reminds me of Hagar in Genesis 21. Hagar was literally abandoned as she was sent to live in the wilderness with her son after Sarai banished her. While Hagar is in the wilderness, she runs out of water, and she places her son, Ishamel, under a bush so she doesn’t have to watch him die. She wept, thinking that she had reached the end of her story. But Heaven was not silent; “God heard the boy crying.” (Genesis 21:17, CSB). And then God did what He does best: He “opened her eyes, and she saw a well.” (Genesis 21:19). Hagar sat in the wilderness believing she had been forgotten, just as I sat on that curb believing I had been abandoned. Yet neither of us had been left alone. God saw Hagar before she saw the well, and He remained with me long before I recognized His presence. 

God does not abandon his people. It is in His nature to stay with those who think they are alone. 

I still remember sitting on that curb. I remember the cold, the silence, and the ache of believing no one was coming. But when I look back now, I don’t just see a forgotten thirteen-year-old girl. I see a God who never stopped seeing her.

Reflection questions

• In what ways does your past impact the way you accept the truth that God will not believe you?
• What is one moment in your past that you can hold on to as proof that God has not left you?